Terror Train

Year: 1980
Director: Roger Spottiswoode
Writer: T.Y. Drake
Genre: Horror: Slasher

Jamie Lee Curtis was the best when she was just starting out. Between this, Halloween, and Prom Night there is probably no role that comes closer to perfection. Obviously my favorite role for her was in Halloween but this one is a close second.

In Terror Train the story is that a few years ago this fraternity decided to pull a stupid joke on one of the newbies. They led him to believe that a girl was interested in him, but instead scared him senseless with a cadaver. After that, the story fast forwards to today where the college kids are all about ready to graduate. They're celebrating their almost independence by having a party on a train as it drives on and on. Unfortunately it seems that the poor boy they teased back then has come back for revenge.

The movie is great because it takes place in an unusual location and uses that to its advantage. The enclosed cars are perfect and make you wonder how long it will be until bodies will be discovered. It's great fun and the characters are rather realistic, even if that means you'll end up hating some of them.

Really, if you've never seen Terror Train it's definitely worth watching. It's not a movie I've ever really heard mentioned before and that seems like a huge shame. I guess it got passed over alongside all other slashers coming out at the same time. The name isn't the most exciting thing out there so it probably didn't help attract viewers. Although I don't have much to say I'm absolutely smitten with the feature so please check it out.

Body Melt

Year: 1993
Director: Philip Brophy
Writer: Rod Bishop, Philip Brophy
Genre: Horror: Comedy, Body Horror

For some reason I kept avoiding Body Melt. Something about the title repelled me and made me feel like it was going to be cheesy and worthless. I was so wrong and I'm really glad that the time was finally taken to watch it.

Body Melt is about some sort of health research company thing who is trying out their latest "stuff". It's supposed to make you feel amazing, I suppose, and maybe keep you looking good too. It could be some sort of miracle drug but now the time has come to run human tests. Instead of getting people to sign off on waivers and test things though the company has instead built up a nice little suburban area. Basically everyone on the block gets these interesting tablets and packets delivered to their house and for some reason they ingest them no questions asked. From there, the company tracks their reactions to the chemicals secretly. If nothing else the plot is certainly creative.

As one might expect, the drugs bring about unforeseen complications. The biggest side effect is that eventually your body melts. Like, completely. It's pretty gnarly honestly and that is the word I thought of when looking at some of the effects. It's disgusting, but almost cool to see some of the creative things happening on screen.

The movie can be compared to Bad Taste in regards to budget, but Dead Alive in regards to creativity. It's a highly creative and entertaining film. It's also pretty disgusting but if that's what you're into then this is the ticket. Overall I found it very enjoyable and I wish there were more movies out there like this.

Body Parts

Year: 1994
Director: Michael Paul Girard, Jan Marlyn Reesman
Writer: Teri Marlow, Dick Monda, Clement von Frackenstein
Genre: Horror: Possession

I came into Body Parts not expecting much at all. I knew it was something put out by Troma but beyond that I wasn't sure. Besides, there are Troma films out there that I don't like (Mothers Day). So, with a bit of worry I watched it and quickly fell in love. Or perhaps it's better to say I fell in "like" with it.

The movie is your standard tale of a psycho killing strippers. What isn't standard about it is the cast of characters. Everyone is ridiculous but in a mostly believable way. However, the longer the movie goes on the more times the believability is stretched thinner. By the end we've thrown it completely out the window and are experiencing something absurd. I for one liked the gradual climb from semi-realism to hilarity over the hour and a half.

Some instances of silliness are like when the cops are chasing a suspect. As they pass through a back yard with a dog the dog is never their concern. Instead, they tiptoe and weave over the many dog poop pieces strewn about the yard. It's dumb but made me chuckle all the same. Then there's one character whose persona is Marilyn Monroe. Probably unlike Marilyn though she is a complete and utter dunce. When it is her time to shine on camera she really does shine. I couldn't stop giggling at her ridiculous antics and lines like "If I'm ever reincarnated I wanna come back as Vanna White."

There's actually not much murdering in the film beyond the start. As such it's a bit of a stretch to call this a horror film since it's not very scary either... Still, I think it fits in especially since there is possession involved as well. Regardless of the genre this is one awkward film which deserves a watch.

Dog Day Afternoon

Year: 1975
Director: Sidney Lumet
Writer: Frank Pierson
Genre: Crime

I've had Dog Day Afternoon on my list of things to watch for a while now. Owning a copy of the VHS I just kept staring it at it and thinking it might be fun. One fine evening of browsing Netflix and I came to realize the film is available for streaming! So, I sat down and watched the whole two hour feature.

This is a movie I thoroughly enjoyed. Typical crime drama stories are not my thing but this isn't one of those stories. For one, the main character may be a bank robber but he's exceedingly entertaining. Played by Al Pacino, I wasn't expecting such a lovable guy. He robs a bank with a friend of his and all the bank staff are stuck in there with him. There's the manager, a security guard, and a flock of tellers.

The police catch on to the scheme rather quickly and surround the bank. However, due to the hostages, the situation gets drawn out for a long time. During that time frame the hostages mostly lose their fear of the robbers and discuss and pal around with them. It's really unexpected and makes things a lot of fun. It's also fun when the ever-growing crowd of spectators begin to take the robber's side and see him as sticking it to the man.

One of the most interesting things in the film to me was why the Pacino character wanted the money. I won't spoil it because the reasons don't come to light until later, but it's really quite unexpected (especially for the time period the film was produced). I suppose the reason the story is so outlandish is because it is based on a true story. And you know how that goes... true life is stranger than fiction and whatnot. I'd really suggest checking this film out if you've ever got a lot of time to spare and want to see one of Al Pacino's first big works.

The House of Yes

Year: 1997
Director: Mark Waters
Writer: Wendy MacLeod, Mark Waters
Genre: Drama: Black Comedy

This is one strange movie. The story makes me wonder who would have ever come up with such a thing. Basically, a brother comes home to his sister with his fiance for a nice dinner. However, the sister happens to be mentally unstable and believes herself to be Jackie Kennedy. The bringing home of the fiance makes the sister completely lose it. It's weird.

I really enjoyed the film. It was just so unusual but never felt too far gone. That is, except for one climactic scene which just struck me as tremendously crazed. I suppose in the world of the characters though it had some degree of normalcy. That's something that was especially great about the film... The actors were very immersed in their roles and those who were supposed to be accustomed to the crazy seemed to be.

The background makes this a dramatic tale but it's very much a black comedy. All that happens is incredibly dark but somehow deeply hilarious. The situation is almost entirely implausible which lends itself well to nervous laughter. The "Jackie" character is incredibly well done as well. You watch her interactions with everyone and know something has to happen and it's tantalizing to wonder about.

I wholly recommend this movie to fans of black comedy and weird cinema. It won't appeal to a lot of people, but for some (like me) it is one hell of an hour and a half.

The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert

Year: 1994
Director: Stephan Elliot
Writer: Stephan Elliot
Genre: Comedy, Drama

Where do I start with Priscilla... Well, suffice to say I love it.

For a film from 1994 it's surprisingly candid and sweet for the subject matter. The story by the way focuses on a troop of crossdressers going cross country for a performance. Predictably, the story focuses around all the exciting events and people they come across on their journey. Sometimes the characters must face insult and injury but the main focal point of the movie is fun, fun, fun and having lots of it.

Movies about cross country journeys tend to be hit or miss with me. They can fall completely flat with stupid characters or come to life because of interactions. This film definitely got it all right and with a distinctly fabulous edge. I like that the characters are shown as being able to take care of themselves and with their heads screwed on straight. Again, for 1994 this is pretty solid.

The characters are campy but that's the whole point. It's great fun and still manages to have heart. I can't accurately convey how much fun I had with the film, but it was pretty great. It almost make me want to try out drag although I doubt I could ever be as cool as these characters.

The Return of the Living Dead

Year: 1985
Director: Dan O'Bannon
Writer: Ban O'Bannon, Rudy Ricci
Genre: Horror: Zombies

I've circled around this film for years without ever giving it a chance. For some reason, despite growing up loving zombie films I felt I couldn't watch this one. It seemed like it was going to tapdance on the tomb of the more "serious" zombie movies I'd seen. I never really wanted to see my favorite films made a mockery of. But then Shaun of the Dead, Dance of the Dead, and Zombieland came out and made me change my thought process. Now, films like Dead Alive are the ones I'm madly in love with. Still, I couldn't get over my silly fear of watching this film until recently.

Having finally watched the film I can tell you it's a great time. The start of the story is with a guy who's just taken up a job and is learning the ropes. The job is one of supplying medical schools with various dead things from the warehouse as well as other teaching implements. The story goes that deep in the basement of the warehouse are old dead bodies that had come to life due to some crazy military experimentation (something like that anyway). Stupidly, the man showing the new guy around smacks a dead body bin, the toxic fumes escape, and well I'm sure you can guess that something happens. Oh, and did I mention that this building is right across the street from a graveyard? Yep.

I really like the humor in this film. It's a lot sharper than one might expect from an 80s film and for that I applaud it. It also takes a keen eye to have put together a more lighthearted zombie film when there weren't many on the market currently. Night of the Creeps came out a year later. Either way, it's a fun way to turn the genre on its head and it still manages to keep you on the edge of your seat at times.

The zombies looked great, the cast became their characters, the jokes were perfect, and there's even a naked Linnea Quigley running around for about half the movie. Poor Linnea... I think her role in this film is what pushed her into B-horror semi-stardom. The tagline for this film is "they're back from the grave and ready to party!" which basically sums it up perfectly.

Mom

Year: 1991
Director: Patrick Rand
Writer: Patrick Rand
Genre: Horror: Werewolves, Black comedy

I came into watching this movie like it was going to be another Rabid Grannies. That film is basically a big gross-out horror comedy. While great fun, I didn't think the world really needed two films like that. As it turned out though, this is nothing like the aforementioned film. It is instead a sort of horror-based black comedy.

The story starts out with a nice older woman who has a room out for rent. A blind man comes by and ends up taking the room. Things were pretty much doomed from the start though as the man is a vampire and preys on the dear lady. As it turns out, she has a son who's married and has a child on the way. This son happens to deal very closely with the local police and once realizing what his mom's become must figure out how to go against the law to keep her alive. That, along with making sure she doesn't prey on him or his wife.

It's got all the makings of a more modern werewolf story which there are not enough of out there. The fact that it's someone mother though just pulls you in further. The son trying to protect her and himself is interesting to see play out. Non-horror fans in particular seem drawn to the story.

Overally, this was a big surprise of a movie to me. Never would I have expected a movie with a silly cover and a boring title would end up being one of the best films I've seen in a while. Sure, it's dated and silly at times but that doesn't hurt it. The story that is told is wholly enthralling and most everyone owes it a viewing.

Meet the Hollowheads

Year: 1989
Director: Thomas R. Burman
Writer: Thomas R. Burman, Lisa Morton
Genre: Comedy

I don't know who decided to make this movie but I'm so glad they did. Honestly, in the first five minutes I was left laughing and being supremely confounded by what was going on. It takes a lot for movies to do that to me, and probably for most people. Meet the Hollowheads is just extremely strange.

It feels like a sitcom. It feels like a sitcom taking place in the future. Unlike many pieces on the subject of the "future" this movie takes things in a very strange route. Instead of focusing on flying cars or robots it talks a lot about pipes. There are also really creepy skinless pets and intestine-looking creatures who apparently help around the house. I don't even know anymore. Basically, the movie was perfectly complacent in its whacked out world and never acknowledged how wild it all was.

The characters were interesting and mostly it was a regular family drama. It gets a little extreme near the end but somehow it fits. There's really no way to express how un-ready I was for the movie, but hopefully it makes sense. The last time I was so pleasantly caught off guard was with TerrorVision. In fact, the films have a very similar vibe about them (whacked out 80s sitcom vibe).

What's unfortunate about this film is that I've never seen it in stores. Apparently most people want to hide it from existence. At least, they wish to hide it from me because I looked for months to no avail. However, it's up streaming on Netflix which just makes me scratch my head. How do they pick candidates for streaming? Anyway, Meet the Hollowheads is a movie to watch with friends on a Friday night.

Bonus quote: "When are kids gonna learn to just say no to butt polish?"

PS: Apparently before the movie came out it was going to be called Life on the Edge. Personally, I feel like that conveys something a bit more grand than the finished feature. Regardless, I think the title card for it looks really neat.