Intruder

Year: 1989
Director: Scott Spiegel
Writer: Lawrence Bender, Scott Spiegel
Genre: Horror: Slasher

If you like slashers then I hope you've seen Intruder (which goes by a few names). If you haven't, then why not? It might have a super dull name but the contents are pretty great. Something that's always bothered me is the mass of horror films taking place in same-y locations. I tire of creepy old houses/mansions and summer camps. Intruder takes place in a supermarket.

Unlike Chopping Mall this film is able to be relatively entertaining as well. Actually, I guess Chopping Mall is entertaining but in a horribly 80s "this doesn't make any sense" way. I like this film better. The cast is primarily young adults who work at the market, but there's a few older people in management there too. Also, since it's a market and on work time there's little to no time for romantic shenanigans. Thank god. That's something else I tire of in slashers.

The characters are nicely believable and keep you interested. If there's any problem there are a few too many characters. I had a bit of trouble remembering who was supposed to be who as people were slowly killed off one by one. At least that helped to keep me guessing about who was left to be the killer. Speaking of which, the murders are pretty gory for the 80s. I guess this is due to the film verging on the 90s so there's a great deal of skill involved with each effect. Still, it's more graphic than was expected.

I like this movie a lot. It isn't the best slasher but it is a pretty fun one. Intruder is not quite a classic but it's still worthy of a viewing.

Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland

Year: 1989
Director: Michael A. Simpson
Writer: Fritz Gordon, Robert Hiltzik
Genre: Horror: Slasher, Comedy

Somehow I managed to make it to the 3rd Sleepaway Camp film. Although the first never really struck a chord with me, the 2nd was pretty fun and so of course I had to keep on going. This film seems to finish off the original trilogy, even though later there was a "fifth" film that came out in the 2000s. Yeah, fifth after third. Apparently there was a 4th film in production but it got scrapped before getting anywhere important. Because of that, Return to Sleepaway camp has the alternate title of Sleepaway Camp V even though 4 is nebulous and incomplete. Apparently you could have nabbed it as a special gift from Best Buy some years ago but now your best bet is eBay. Doesn't seem too worth it though.

Anyway, in regards to Sleepaway Camp III it's an alright film. I certainly didn't enjoy it as much as the 2nd but it was alright. Angela is still a pretty cool girl although she seems to have jumped further into the deep end now (yes, even more than she had in the previous rendition). Murders seem less and less important and just there to fill the quota for dead bodies.

Still, I liked the movie. I like Angela even if I don't fully understand her motives and am happy to watch annoying teens get knocked off one by one. There's probably a lot of other slasher films you could spend your time with though. I wouldn't really suggest checking this one out unless you've already gone to the trouble of seeing other films in the series.

Clownhouse

Year: 1989
Director: Victor Salva
Writer: Victor Salva
Genre: Horror: Clowns

I came into Clownhouse expecting a pretty terrible movie. I mean, what is that name supposed to imply? The house of clowns? A house made of clowns? It just doesn't sound very scary. The movie doesn't end up ever being too frightful anyway, but that doesn't make it a fine film.

Clownhouse would never win any awards for doing something entirely new. It's basically a very simple story. There are three brothers and the youngest one is afraid of clowns. The older two goad him about this a lot and have decided to take him to the circus anyway. At the same time, a group of mental hospital patients have escaped nearby. They end up killing and dressing up as clowns and cause a lot of trouble for the three boys.

The first thing that caught my attention was the teasing, ridicule, and generally perfect capturing of brotherly behaviors. It also struck me that there were three. In many movies there is a focus on two siblings, or just one child and parents. It was a nice view on the story and it worked well.

There's not very much gore and there's basically no sexuality either. I'm very appreciative of horror movies that don't rely on either to draw in an audience. Clownhouse isn't for kids either though. Well, it could be but it would probably terrify the child for a few good nights.

Parents

Year: 1989
Director: Bob Balaban
Writer: Cristopher Hawthorne
Genre: Horror: Black comedy

Parents is a very odd sort of movie. In a way, it feels like we're transported to another time period outside of our own. It's like were back to the 50s when a family was really together and strong, or at least that's what TV shows from the time period always presented. It feels "normal" but only briefly before slowly descending into a horrific realization.

I like this movie because it plays on stereotypes of the wholesome American family. You see the movie mostly from the understanding of a young boy and so his perceptions filter ours as well. There are times you don't know if he is simply a whacked out child or if there really is something wrong.

I'm not sure what I can really say without spoiling things, but it's pretty cool. It's not extravagantly produced or anything and I like that. It might be dull for some watchers, but for those who like a slow and off-kilter movie this might be for you. Meet the Hollowheads would be a good film to pair with this one.

Beware! Children at Play

Year: 1989
Director: Mik Cribben
Writer: Fred Scharkey
Genre: Horror: Evil children

For being a Troma production this was pretty tame - and that's a good thing. Here, let me try and explain...

The film felt like a mid-80s thriller about kids who are disappearing in a small town. They don't turn up dead or anything - just go missing. The same can be said for some adults as well, although it's a rather slow progression. It's all very mysterious for a while until the film ramps up and you see what is going on with the children lost out there. Aside from the fact that it gets rather violent the film isn't anything "outrageous" even when kids are pegged as the aggressors. Obviously that's been done many times before.

While it is a little disturbing with the level of violence against children as well as depicting the kids being violent it never quite feels as crazy as a Troma film should. Only during the climax would I say the film finally veers a little bit out of bounds. Beyond that, it mostly looks like a film that wanted to shock and failed. It's kind of a shame really that the climax is so over the top because it colors your perspective over the rest of the film like it was a complete waste.

The Troma edge is distinctly lacking (in every part except the last 10 minutes) although that's not a bad thing. As a movie, I think it does rather well. It's the kind of movie people might go to a theater to see just like any other Hollywood blockbuster. It has 4 stars on IMDB but that doesn't make a lick of sense because this is just the kind of stuff casual horror fans would eat up.

Children at Play drags on a bit but overall it's a nice production, even if it feels dated. Just don't go into it expecting another Mother's Day or Toxie flick because you'll find that spirit distinctly lacking.

Valmont

Year: 1989
Director: Milos Forman
Writer: Milos Forman, Jean-Claude Carriere
Genre: Drama: Romance

First off, Valmont is yet another adaptation of the book Les Liasions Dangereueses. This was the last of the various adaptations for me to watch and now I've seen them all! Well, unless there's some sort of made-for TV version. Unfortunately, I only reviewed one of the others: Dangerous Liaisons. 


In regards to what Valmont brings to the table it shows a different side of title character Valmont then all the other adaptations. For the most part, we are always the stranger looking in on this very selfish man who wants every woman possible. Somehow, this film managed to make viewers empathize with him and see that he's not bad at all, simply misguided. What's most strange is how as opposed to those other films, it seems much more like a Shakespearian comedy than a devilishly cruel one. The other films were good at being darkly comedic but this just felt bubbly in comparison even though the same exact storyline was playing out. I honestly couldn't tell you how they manged it, but it worked well.

I enjoyed the movie wholeheartedly especially since it wasn't the same old thing. However, I wouldn't go so far as to say I like it more than the other adaptations. Personally, Dangerous Liaisons still remains at the top of my list. Even Cruel Intentions, which is of a much more Hollywood variety is a little higher up than this. Possibly. I'd need to watch it again.

What was most strange about this version of the story is that there was never any outright stating that Valmont  and his sister were the ones engaged in their cruel plan. I'm not sure if the character was just revoked of her sister status so it wouldn't be incestuous or if they really were siblings but you are just supposed to know from the base material. I don't know but it struck me as odd that it was never explicitly declared like in the other versions. It's easy enough to slip in "my dear sister" so why didn't they do it? Or maybe they did and I wasn't paying attention, but none of the other characters seemed to comment on it either. The closest I recall hearing though was when the character said "he's almost like a brother" or something like that. Obviously, it seemed to be hinting to the idea that he IS her brother, but still an obtuse way of going about sharing information.

Beyond that, the film was pretty solid and entertaining. I'm happy this version was Keanu Reeves free. Nothing against him, but his portrayal of the music teacher in Dangerous Liaisons was basically like everything else he did in the 90s - lifeless.

Meet the Hollowheads

Year: 1989
Director: Thomas R. Burman
Writer: Thomas R. Burman, Lisa Morton
Genre: Comedy

I don't know who decided to make this movie but I'm so glad they did. Honestly, in the first five minutes I was left laughing and being supremely confounded by what was going on. It takes a lot for movies to do that to me, and probably for most people. Meet the Hollowheads is just extremely strange.

It feels like a sitcom. It feels like a sitcom taking place in the future. Unlike many pieces on the subject of the "future" this movie takes things in a very strange route. Instead of focusing on flying cars or robots it talks a lot about pipes. There are also really creepy skinless pets and intestine-looking creatures who apparently help around the house. I don't even know anymore. Basically, the movie was perfectly complacent in its whacked out world and never acknowledged how wild it all was.

The characters were interesting and mostly it was a regular family drama. It gets a little extreme near the end but somehow it fits. There's really no way to express how un-ready I was for the movie, but hopefully it makes sense. The last time I was so pleasantly caught off guard was with TerrorVision. In fact, the films have a very similar vibe about them (whacked out 80s sitcom vibe).

What's unfortunate about this film is that I've never seen it in stores. Apparently most people want to hide it from existence. At least, they wish to hide it from me because I looked for months to no avail. However, it's up streaming on Netflix which just makes me scratch my head. How do they pick candidates for streaming? Anyway, Meet the Hollowheads is a movie to watch with friends on a Friday night.

Bonus quote: "When are kids gonna learn to just say no to butt polish?"

PS: Apparently before the movie came out it was going to be called Life on the Edge. Personally, I feel like that conveys something a bit more grand than the finished feature. Regardless, I think the title card for it looks really neat.

Puppet Master

Year: 1989
Director: David Schmoeller
Writer: Charles Band, Kenneth J. Hall, David Schmoeller
Genre: Horror: Evil Dolls

Apparently, this movie is meant to play off the popularity of Child's Play as well as take from the ideas presented in Dolls. Now, Dolls is a much better film than I had ever though it would be, and of course Child's Play is a personal favorite of mine so I was expecting this movie to be better than what IMDB was saying. Generally I ignore IMDB anyway since their 2-5 star films can end up being some of my personal favorites ever. Anyways, I like movies about toys and things coming to life so this was right on the money, or so I thought.

The movie is actually pretty dull. There's a few interesting things here and there but overall the story isn't giving us much new to think over. There's a "Puppet Master" from the 1920s or 30s and he commits suicide before the police can find him. I'm not sure what they were after him for, aside from his use of ancient Egyptian magic to bring life into inanimate objects (puppets!). How would they have even discovered him? Either way, after the little history lesson you're brought up to the current day where a man has just passed away...

For some reason the people who are there for his funeral are all physics of some kind. As expected, the dead man isn't quite dead either and is using puppets to kill off those psychics. Why? Well, there is a reason but most of the movie is left without one making it seem like an awkward slasher film. I did appreciate that the puppets are not purely evil though, although they are still quite fond of killing.

The movie isn't that great but it's a cult hit with certain people. This also happens to be the first film I've seen from Full Moon Pictures. I think that's pretty cool in and of itself since I've been a fan of their wacky trailers for years. After I'm done with this series (if I can bear it) I'm thinking of hitting up some other horror movie series' like Hellraiser, Silent Night Deadly Night, and Child's Play since I only ever saw the first. I'm hoping these damn Puppet Master films get better and not worse, or else I might not make it through.

A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child

Year: 1989
Director: Stephen Hawkins
Writer: Wes Craven, John Skipp, Craig Spector, Leslie Bohem
Genre: Horror: Slasher

The Dream Child is a continuation of The Dream Master. Alice is still alive and kickin' and apparently busy doing the deed with her high school sweetheart. However, he ends up dying and so do a lot of other kids because Freddy is back for yet another round. Also, Alice is pregnant.

The movie is somewhat like a super toned down Rosemary's Baby because Freddy (Satan) is taking the fatherly role for the developing fetus. The unborn boy is in fact the catalyst for the dreams - as apparently fetuses can dream. Whether this is true or not doesn't matter but because he dreams Alice can not ward off sleep.

Freddy intends to use the baby as a vehicle to birth him back into the world. What for, I can't really say, as Freddy shouldn't have his dream powers in the real world anyway. Either way, stuff goes down. This movie continues to try and outdo the last with effects. However, by this point things are starting to feel really silly. One guy fuses into a motorcycle for Christ's sake. This isn't a Final Fantasy summon this is supposed to be a horror movie!

The whole trope of this group of kids from Elm Street is tired by this point and that's probably why this is the last movie to continue that specific storyline. It took me a while to realize it, but all the movies with the "Dream" subtitle were part of a trilogy within the Nightmare series. It's pretty weird how they did that.

PS: Apparently this is the movie that has Freddy stuffing a girl until her cheeks puff out impossibly huge.

PPS: There was a fantastic song which played during the movie in a section and was the first credit song. I am pretty sure it's not meant to be the theme song for The Dream Child but I will imagine it is anyway.