The Crush

Year: 1993
Director: Alan Shapiro
Writer: Alan Shapiro
Genre: Drama

I don't know why I continue to subject myself to drama films. They often make me get that knot in my stomach but I'm stuck watching them anyway. So, The Crush is basically a sort of modernized Lolita. It's not exactly though since it's a whole new story going on but the ties are there. Obviously, a young girl attempts to seduce the lead character - that's a given.

Unlike Lolita though (from what little I remember) it feels a whole lot more sinister. The girl in question is 14, although much smarter than her peers, and is able to manipulate everyone around her. In a way, it felt like Poison Ivy with how secretly diabolical she is.

Beyond that though I didn't honestly care much for the movie. It's melodramatic and not so bad as a Lifetime movie but close enough. I never really felt engaged with the lead and those around him weren't very important either. Who cares if they die? So yeah, it's an acceptable way to spend your time but I'd look elsewhere. Or, if you really need some sort of hebephilic film might as well go with Lolita.

Body Melt

Year: 1993
Director: Philip Brophy
Writer: Rod Bishop, Philip Brophy
Genre: Horror: Comedy, Body Horror

For some reason I kept avoiding Body Melt. Something about the title repelled me and made me feel like it was going to be cheesy and worthless. I was so wrong and I'm really glad that the time was finally taken to watch it.

Body Melt is about some sort of health research company thing who is trying out their latest "stuff". It's supposed to make you feel amazing, I suppose, and maybe keep you looking good too. It could be some sort of miracle drug but now the time has come to run human tests. Instead of getting people to sign off on waivers and test things though the company has instead built up a nice little suburban area. Basically everyone on the block gets these interesting tablets and packets delivered to their house and for some reason they ingest them no questions asked. From there, the company tracks their reactions to the chemicals secretly. If nothing else the plot is certainly creative.

As one might expect, the drugs bring about unforeseen complications. The biggest side effect is that eventually your body melts. Like, completely. It's pretty gnarly honestly and that is the word I thought of when looking at some of the effects. It's disgusting, but almost cool to see some of the creative things happening on screen.

The movie can be compared to Bad Taste in regards to budget, but Dead Alive in regards to creativity. It's a highly creative and entertaining film. It's also pretty disgusting but if that's what you're into then this is the ticket. Overall I found it very enjoyable and I wish there were more movies out there like this.

Matinee

Year: 1993
Director: Joe Dante
Movie: Charles S. Haas
Genre: Comedy

Set near the end o the Cold War era, this is a strange little movie. Jon Goodman plays a Hollywood wannabe hotshot who is making sci-fi pictures. I say "wannabe" because although he thinks he's better than Hitchcock he really only succeeds at making 50s era-style silly sci-fi movies. His latest creation, "Mant", is about to play in a small town.A young teen boy widly devours everything sci-fi, so he is excited as can be that the famous director of these movies is coming to his city. From there, things get goofy.

Matinee is a sort of treasure. I'd generally have never picked it up but it's kind of a cute love letter of sorts to the eras gone by. I'd love to sit in a theater with a movie in Smell-O-Vision, Shock-O-Vision, Scare-O-Rama, or anything like that. But obviously those things were never meant to catch on which is why we're mostly done with that dumb stuff today (well, maybe 3D can be classified the same way much of the time).

The movie is strange because there are multiple layers of reality going on simultaneously. It's nothing deep like Inception, just that there is the reality of the movie plot, the character's in the  movie theater plot, and the overarching Cold War scare. It's silly and cute.

Strangely though the whole movie seems to be parodying the fact that people were scared at all for these events. Sure, ducking and covering wouldn't have done any good but still, there was certainly a legitimate reason for people to be scared out of their minds at times. Well, I suppose it was a nice message for the time anyway. Overall the movie is nice PG fare with a fun sci-fi twist. Besides, Mant is a hilarious movie and worth watching all by itself.

Boxing Helena

Year: 1993
Director: Jennifer Chambers Lynch
Writer: Jennifer Chambers Lynch
Genre: Drama

If you've never seen Boxing Helena I will suggest you never do. That is, unless you're a fan of terrible films. Why would I make such an accusation? One simply needs to watch the film and will probably be left feeling much the same way. Let me elaborate.

First off, Jennifer Chambers Lynch is the daughter of David Lynch, which is quite a name to live up to. I'm not sure if she wanted to be a director or just wanted to try her hand at it. Certainly she probably had seen all her father's films and they must have left some sort of impression on her. I feel like Boxing Helena was her own attempt to create something unusual to leave a mark on American cinema-goers. I'm sure it left a mark, but not the predicted one.

The film takes us into the world of a man who is married but longs for another woman - Helena. Apparently he had only been romantic with her once but that was enough to have him obsessing and yearning way after the fact. Despite knowing better he invites her to a party just to "see her again" and things spiral quickly downward for everyone involved.

It's a weird movie but not in a Lynch way. It's weird for the plot which is very simple to comprehend but not understand. Why would people behave in such a way? Why would horrible acts be treated as great? And who on earth thought the ending (which I will not spoil) was clever in any way? It's weird, dumb, and cumbersome. This is all my opinion, of course, but I'd strongly advise from wasting time with it.

Puppet Master 4

Year: 1993
Director: Jeff Burr
Writer: Douglas Aarniokoski, Stephen E. Carr
Genre: Horror: Evil Dolls

After the surprisingly good time I had with the last movie I wasn't sure what to expect here. Unfortunately, Puppet Master 4 falls back into 80s horror tropes for the most part and doesn't cover much new territory. Basically, this is fresh start back to the modern world.

Ancient Egyptian mystical beings are still alive and worry that our modern society is about to discover how to reanimate life. Because of this, they send out their demonic children to take out scientists involved in the project. For no good reason other than setting up the plot, the brains behind the scientific endeavor lives at the Bodega Bay Inn. This Inn is where all the events of the first and second film took place. The puppets are, of course, all still in there and ready to come to life when needed.

So for whatever reason the scientists visit their friend at the Inn. An evil Egyptian demon thing gets delivered to their house and everyone flips out, but not before bringing the puppets to life. Unlike the other films, the puppets do not rely on their initial kill instinct. Instead, they play a rousing game of laser tag. The tagline of this film is "when bad puppets turn good" and that's pretty much exactly what it is. Why they "turn good" is never really disclosed but apparently it's because their dead master crowns the geeky scientist kid the new Puppet Master.

Really though, the entire movie felt like a drawn-out episode of a TV show. Not even a good TV show either. It was dull, goofy, and didn't add anything to the world of Puppet Master. Well, aside from granting us a new, and much less fearsome master.