My Bloody Valentine

Year: 2009
Director: Patrick Lussier
Writer: Todd Farmer, Zane Smith
Genre: Horror: Slasher

My Bloody Valentine (3D) is a remake I actually contemplated going to see when it was out. To me, it seemed like the perfect way to cap off a Valentine's Day date. However, as fate would have it I never went to see it then. Watching the film today lets me know that was probably the best twist of fate ever.

This movie is entirely too dull. The premise presented is neat enough... A miner killed his partners in a mine shaft, then it collapsed, leaving him in a coma for years after. He came to some years later and started killing once again before being shot down during his spree. More years pass and then it seems our miner killer is back again!

It's close enough in soul to the original except that it doesn't feel nearly as fun. It's all dull and you never find yourself caring for anyone. The movie almost feels like a horrible train wreck at points. There is a part where a woman is completely naked and running from the murderer. Yes, 100% nude. This takes the "girl in skimpy outfit running from maniac" to the extreme and I can't say I liked it one bit.

None of the lead males are especially compelling either. I mean, are we supposed to feel for the young cop on the force who had some of his friends die to the maniac? I could initially understand that but nearly a minute after he is introduce we find out he's a huge cheater. I don't know about you, but knowing someone is cheating rather uncaringly on their partner isn't going to bond me with them. As for the other guy, well, he just feels like a slab of concrete. He's got no real personality that shines through. Oh, there's a "twist" ending too. I figured it out early on and I'm sure anyone else watching will catch it too.

Maybe I sound harsh but I'm mad that I wasted an hour and 40 minutes on this thing. If you like or want to watch it though, then more power to ya.