Monster in the Closet

Year: 1986
Director: Bob Dahlin
Writer: Bob Dahlin
Genre: Horror: Monster

Upon starting this movie I thought it was going to be absolutely abysmal. The introduction to the film is supremely low budget and silly as all get out. However, if you can get past the first few minutes of the movie I think you'll find a decent monster flick.

The film focuses around a monster who inhabits closets. People who come near closets are typically the prey of the beast as closets are his "safe space". There isn't all together that much gore in the movie due to the fact that most killings go on off-screen (in the closet). Because of this it is the tamest Troma film I've seen. There's barely even any breasts on display either save for one appropriate shower scene. In the world of Troma this is probably the most kid friendly of their movies.

So what makes this move stand out? It realizes the idea of people being terrorized by closet monsters is hilarious so the film pokes a lot of fun at itself. The characters are also relatively well-defined and fit into their roles well. It must take quite a talent to shriek hysterically at a closet.

Overall the movie isn't especially fresh or anything, but if you have nothing better to do with your time it could be fun. This is one of those films that probably works best in a group viewing. Apparently there is a 2011 remake but I fail to see how that could in any way be a good thing. I expect it'd be like the Death Race remake which just killed all the soul of the original.

Make-Out With Violence

Year: 2008
Director: Deagol Brothers
Writer: Cody DeVos, Deagol Brothers
Genre: Horror: Black comedy

I like to think I'm not shallow but when it comes to movie choices I often prefer names that grab me to simple one word things like "Demons" or "Blood". However, in the case of this strangely named film I in fact pushed myself away from it. The name conjured up some sort of bikini-girl-running-from-masked-murder sameness that I've not been in the mood for for a while. Either way, out of random selection I chose to finally sit down with the movie. It was much better than I expected.

The basic premise is that there are a group of three brothers (2 older, 1 younger) and the two older ones have crushes on these two best friend girls. It's a perfectly suburban love story until one day that one the girls, Wendy, disappears. Eventually searches are called off and a funeral is held for her because she's presumed dead. A bit after that, the youngest brother runs around and discovers her body in the woods. Also, apparently she did die but she's still living. Undead, you know.

From then on it gets really interesting because the brother who adored her, Patrick, can't live without her it seems. Despite the fact that she's practically a living doll (with a taste for flesh) he takes care of her in their friend's house who is away for the summer. The other brothers are in on it too but certainly don't want to let anyone else know hat is going on.

I'm surprised by how much I liked this movie. It played out so well and I felt really sorry for Patrick's struggle. It made me put myself in his place. If somehow there were some zombie version of someone I loved deeply out there, wouldn't I want to try and keep them? Probably not, but I could see why someone would go so far. It's sadly striking and even more so since Patrick never actually dated her and just adored her so very much.

It's not just Patrick's story though as the other brothers still serve integral roles and have relationships with other characters throughout. The second older brother, Carol, in particular was an interestingly awkward guy. The youngest serves as the narrator and his stark stating of facts is humorous at times. Overall, quite the enjoyable film. If I had to pair it with something I'd say watch it alongside Zombie Honeymoon.

Mom

Year: 1991
Director: Patrick Rand
Writer: Patrick Rand
Genre: Horror: Werewolves, Black comedy

I came into watching this movie like it was going to be another Rabid Grannies. That film is basically a big gross-out horror comedy. While great fun, I didn't think the world really needed two films like that. As it turned out though, this is nothing like the aforementioned film. It is instead a sort of horror-based black comedy.

The story starts out with a nice older woman who has a room out for rent. A blind man comes by and ends up taking the room. Things were pretty much doomed from the start though as the man is a vampire and preys on the dear lady. As it turns out, she has a son who's married and has a child on the way. This son happens to deal very closely with the local police and once realizing what his mom's become must figure out how to go against the law to keep her alive. That, along with making sure she doesn't prey on him or his wife.

It's got all the makings of a more modern werewolf story which there are not enough of out there. The fact that it's someone mother though just pulls you in further. The son trying to protect her and himself is interesting to see play out. Non-horror fans in particular seem drawn to the story.

Overally, this was a big surprise of a movie to me. Never would I have expected a movie with a silly cover and a boring title would end up being one of the best films I've seen in a while. Sure, it's dated and silly at times but that doesn't hurt it. The story that is told is wholly enthralling and most everyone owes it a viewing.

Meet the Hollowheads

Year: 1989
Director: Thomas R. Burman
Writer: Thomas R. Burman, Lisa Morton
Genre: Comedy

I don't know who decided to make this movie but I'm so glad they did. Honestly, in the first five minutes I was left laughing and being supremely confounded by what was going on. It takes a lot for movies to do that to me, and probably for most people. Meet the Hollowheads is just extremely strange.

It feels like a sitcom. It feels like a sitcom taking place in the future. Unlike many pieces on the subject of the "future" this movie takes things in a very strange route. Instead of focusing on flying cars or robots it talks a lot about pipes. There are also really creepy skinless pets and intestine-looking creatures who apparently help around the house. I don't even know anymore. Basically, the movie was perfectly complacent in its whacked out world and never acknowledged how wild it all was.

The characters were interesting and mostly it was a regular family drama. It gets a little extreme near the end but somehow it fits. There's really no way to express how un-ready I was for the movie, but hopefully it makes sense. The last time I was so pleasantly caught off guard was with TerrorVision. In fact, the films have a very similar vibe about them (whacked out 80s sitcom vibe).

What's unfortunate about this film is that I've never seen it in stores. Apparently most people want to hide it from existence. At least, they wish to hide it from me because I looked for months to no avail. However, it's up streaming on Netflix which just makes me scratch my head. How do they pick candidates for streaming? Anyway, Meet the Hollowheads is a movie to watch with friends on a Friday night.

Bonus quote: "When are kids gonna learn to just say no to butt polish?"

PS: Apparently before the movie came out it was going to be called Life on the Edge. Personally, I feel like that conveys something a bit more grand than the finished feature. Regardless, I think the title card for it looks really neat.