Valentine

Year: 2001
Director: Jamie Blanks
Writer: Donna Powers
Genre: Horror: Thriller

Usually when I go into more modern horror films I don't expect much. This movie doesn't intend to blow your socks off but what it does it does very well. You'v got a cast of very likable (and attractive) adults all going about their lives. Valentine's Day is coming around so the group is certainly rather focused on finding or maintaining love. Unfortunately, some weird things are going on where their friends are slowly dying off.... receiving weird Valentine's cards, and that sort of thing. Seems like this year things are going to be pretty different.

The movie is a little silly but mostly I really liked the characters and the progression of the story from mildly creepy things to "Look behind you! Watch out!". Maybe that's just me though. The characters mostly are agreeable although their Hollywood glamour makes you sometimes focus on how fake the film is.

Valentine is good at getting you to follow the wrong trail. I always tend to enjoy movies that will confuse you as to who the killer is. Sure, most every film tries to keep that a secret but often it's hard to actually maintain that secrecy. Or, movies will just throw something completely out of left field because that's the best they could do. I like being deceived when it makes sense though, and it made sense here.

Totally check it out since, well, it's Valentine's Day!

New Year's Evil

Year: 1980
Director: Emmett Alston
Writer: Leonard Neubauer
Genre: Horror: Holiday

Normally I'm a big fan of holiday-related horror flicks but in this case it just didn't work out. New Year's Evil is a passable film which focuses on a rockin' party. A band is busy performing in a hotel when a call comes in from someone claiming that he will start killing people soon. Apparently, when it reaches midnight in each timezone he will kill someone. It's an interesting enough idea, I suppose.

As it turns out though you never end up caring much for any of the characters. They're mostly one-dimensional and while they act adequately, there's little to keep you involved in watching. There's nothing notable about the movie aside from perhaps being one of the very few New Year's-themed horror films.

There's really nothing else I can say about the movie. It might not have been as much of a total bore as other films I've sat through, but it ranks right up there. However, it could be just me not being able to jive with the film. Give it a watch yourself sometime and maybe you'll get more out of it.

Thankskilling

Year: 2009
Director: Jordan Downey
Writer: Jordan Downey, Kevin Stewart
Genre: Horror: Comedy, Animal attack

I'd been avoiding watching Thankskilling for a while now. There was just something abot it that seemed like it was attempting to be too campy and I was worried. Either way, over Thanksgiving I decided to give it a spin since it fit the theme of the week. I'm glad  I did.

The movie is tremendously low budget with nobodies left and right. Still, it's never taken exorbitant amounts of money to make a good feature and this proves it. Well, it's not "good" in the typical sense but it's good for some silly, dumb laughs. The film pokes fun at horror tropes and is completely unbelievable. For example, there is a part when the teenagers are vigilantly seeking to stay far away from the vile turkey, but fail to notice that he is actually in their house, just wearing a mask.

The movie is supremely dumb but somehow it becomes endearing because of it. Everyone who was involved in this movie must have known exactly what they were making and so it exudes fun. The characters aren't all wonderfully likable but you're still interested in seeing what they get up to. They're a motley crew to be sure and not one really ready to go up against a demonic bird. I think it's their sheer incompetence at stopping the turkey that helps make it even more fun.

It probably isn't to everyone's tastes but if you're looking for a very simple, silly film this might satisfy you. Definitely watch it if you've got time on a future Thanksgiving.

Santa's Slay

Year: 2005
Director: David Steiman
Writer: David Steiman
Genre: Horror: Holiday, slasher

When I first decided to watch this one I was unaware it was so recent. To me it seems like most of the original holiday slasher films were left to the 80s and 90s, not so much now. Apparently I was wrong though and I'm glad I did decide to give it a watch. Unfortunately, it has since gone off Netflix streaming but it's probably available in those cheap horror compilation DVDs found in stores everywhere.

The first thing I honestly noticed about this movie is that it has a brief Fran Drescher cameo in the beginning. I was worried that this was going to be an otherwise subpar film which spent the majority of its budget to get her to appear. Thankfully that didn't turn out to be quite the case although I'm still confused as to why or how they had her in there at all.

Anyway, the film is based around the idea that Santa is actually a terrible demon. He has only been spreading joy and presents for the past 2,000 years because he lost a bet to an angel. The 2,000 year bet is up this Christmas though so Santa finally reverts back to his murderous ways in a small town named Hell. Fitting.

While it's not the smartest movie out there I found it pretty fun to watch. That's often how I feel about holiday-themed horror but maybe that's due to having such low expectations every time. Either way, it's really great to see Santa as some huge, biker-looking guy. There's some really dumb and random humor at parts of the film but I'll let that slide too as who can really take a movie about a murderous Santa Claus seriously?

Christmas Evil

Year: 1980
Director: Lewis Jackson
Writer: Lewis Jackson
Genre: Horror: Holiday

Also known as You Better Watch Out, Christmas Evil is an example of one of the best Christmas horror films.  Of course, the pedigree of most holiday-themed slashers isn't very high, but Christmas Evil is pretty exceptional.

The movie starts us off with a lovely family Christmas Eve. One young boy thinks he hears Santa so he descends down the stairs to check. Unfortunately, he comes across a mentally-scarring scene instead which haunts him for the rest of his life (well, into his 40s or so which is when the film takes place). Despite this scene etched into the back of his mind, he has come to love Christmas and even works for a toy company.

Our lead is so ultimately pitiful that's it kind of hard to feel for him. Still, it's fun to watch his antics and try to get an idea of what he's thinking. For a Christmas horror film it's not nearly as slasher-tastic as others tend to go (I'm looking at you Silent Night, Deadly Night). It's dark, sure, but in a more believable way than most. When watching it I was struck at the fact there was even a cohesive plot in it and not just an excuse to have a guy in a Santa suit slash up pedestrians.

It's rare to find a holiday horror film that's actually decent. I'm happy to have watched it and suggest maybe viewing Trick 'r Treat alongside it. I'd have said Black Christmas (1974) instead but that's not nearly as Christmas-related as this, nor as "friendly" a horror film.