I've Started Writing Amazon Reviews

Seemingly out of nowhere I decided over the weekend that I wanted to start writing user reviews on Amazon. I think it was due to the fact that I was using them to try and determine which headset I wanted to buy. Some reviews were completely useless but others were just what I needed to hear. It's actually probably related to that which spurred me to write my own.

What does that have at all to do with this blog? Well, my main focus of reviews for Amazon is going to be movies. Well, that and games. As I don't think it would be very helpful or allowed to just copy and paste my content I am figuring on writing up wholly new blurbs for Amazon. They'll be lacking my random talks and tangents and stick to the films at hand. I think it's a fun idea and already put up one for The Crush. Interestingly, it took 3+ hours for the review to go live although apparently many go up instantly if they are free of certain flagged words. Obviously Amazon can't have humans check over everything.

I'm hoping mostly that the delay was due to it being my first review on the site. Hopefully future ones will go up sooner because it's really fun to go to the product page and see it there. Although apparently if you write a review that everyone marks as negative or bad then it will get taken down. Hopefully no fans will attack my reviews enough to get them pulled, but I think I'm pretty levelheaded with reviewing.

I'm just curious - do you ever review products on Amazon? What has your experience been like?

Some Movies I Watched

I can't always post up a little blurb about the movies I see. Mostly, I tend to not talk about documentaries much. I'm not sure why but it just is often harder to formulate something about them. Anyway, here's some films I have watched over the past month or so but won't be having their own posts.

• Blair Witch Project
• Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown
• L.I.E.
• The Eyes of Tammy Faye
• Trust
• Catfish
• Lisa
• A Certain Kind of Death
• Aladdin
• Going to Pieces: The Rise and Fall of the Slasher Film
• Page One: Inside the New York Times
• Nightmares in Red, White and Blue
• Reel Injun
• Just Ask My Children

Going to Pieces and Nightmares in Red, White and Blue are both some nice horror movie documentaries. I can't remember which one it was but one of them also doles out a lot of spoilers, so watch out. I'd seen most of the movies it spoiled, thankfully, but there were a few surprises I didn't want to see!

Hatchet

Year: 2006
Director: Adam Green
Writer: Adam Green
Genre: Horror: Slasher

There are a lot of modern horror movies which try so hard to cash in on the timeless popularity of slashers. Many follow the old tropes and load up a bunch of drunken and lusty teens together to all get slaughtered. There's nothing necessarily wrong with that but it's a bit dull. Hatchet keeps things fresh by giving an interesting sort of premise for the death as well as a decent cast of characters. You don't really hate any of them, whereas in certain horror flicks, you're apt to hate absolutely everyone.

Hatchet is extremely enjoyable. The film starts off with some Mardi Gras celebrations going on. Our main character, however, is completely unamused by the goings on and leaves the festivities. Annoyed, his best friend follows and they both end up taking a boat tour since that sounds much better. The boat is loaded up with quite the cast of characters from a lovely older couple to a pornographer and his two actresses. As one might expect, the boat tour is a horrible idea when they cross into the territory of a murderous man.

From then on the film manages to showcase a lot of gory effects and keep you laughing all the way. It's not completely stupid like some teen or youth focused films which really helps to keep you interested too. I was really pleased with the wit demonstrated in the script as well as some creative kills.

Apparently I wasn't the only one who enjoyed it as Hatchet II came out in 2010. I've yet to see it but it's high up on my list after the fun that was Hatchet. 

Terror Firmer

Year: 1999
Director: Lloyd Kaufman
Writer: Patrick Cassidy, Douglas Buck
Genre: Horror: Comedy

Here's yet another one of those movies I've been meaning to watch. Terror Firmer basically shows the world what it's like filming a Troma movie. As one might expect, it's extremely irreverent and comical.

I'm pleased that no matter the decade that Troma always seems able to pump out films of similar low quality. It does seem that this may be a bit on the higher end of low quality though, which is a bit odd. So the film is basically about the cast of a film crew working on a Toxie project. As it proceeds, people begin to die. What a shocking plot, right?

Anyway, most of the movie's fun comes from the cast who are all equally unusual. From the character who slowly transforms from man to woman throughout the feature to the handsome pickle canner, there's enough strangeness to go around. Although it's filled with pretty lowball humor I still had a ball with it. There are times when these kind of movies really hit the spot.

It's hard to think of what to say about this movie aside from the fact that I really enjoyed it. The effects are pretty good and the laughs are creative as well. Overall I'd love to recommend this movie to everyone but certainly some just won't like the humor. If you have liked other Troma comedy films though maybe this will be right for you.

Home Room

Year: 2002
Director: Paul F. Ryan
Writer: Paul F. Ryan
Genre: Drama

It is probably strange to say but I have quite an interest in school shootings. It is not some sort of crazy death-chasing thing but I am very curious about what kids may have to go through to end up taking such extreme actions. Or, I'm curious about what minds might be fundamentally damaged to lead to events like that. Then I am curious about how teenagers cope after having to live through it. As such, I've devoted a lot of time to watching movies on the subject matter over the years.

Home Room is a pretty good movie mostly because it takes a different angle on school shooting. A lot of films have bravely (or stupidly) attempted to share the stories of the ones who commit the crime. That's fine to do of course but in this film we are instead treated to how characters are dealing with it after the fact. It may be more powerful this way.

One preppy popular teen was grazed by a bullet and is now recovering in the hospital. Another girl, one who has been held back and is anything but preppy, is forced into spending time with her. If not, the principal would just hold her back another year. The two are extreme opposites but slowly bond - but they can't talk about "it". The two seem like nicely realistic characters and because of that I found myself bonding to both of them with ease.

I would have honestly liked there to be a bit more to the film. The characters had such a nice back and forth that there could have easily been a bit more scenes. As is though the film feels mostly perfect in execution. I think at a part near the end of the film it gets a little ham-fisted, but beyond that this is a film worth checking out if you're at all curious about the subject matter.

Enter the Void

Year: 2009
Director: Gaspar Noe
Writer: Gaspar Noe, Lucile Hadzihalilovic
Genre: Drama

I'm not really sure what I can say about Enter the Void. I wholly enjoyed my experience with it but I'm pretty sure everyone's mileage will vary. This was honestly my first film from this director (which is probably blasphemous to even say) but whatever. I've wanted to go and watch I Stand Alone and Irreversible for a while but it seems you need to be in a specific mood to enjoy them. As is, I don't think I've been in the right kind of mood yet for many months.

Anyway, onto Enter the Void. It starts us off in the world of a young man who's doing some drugs. Apparently he's a small-time dealer in Tokyo. Everything seems to be fine but when he goes to drop something off it turns out to be a sting operation. He's chased into the bathroom, shot, and killed. From there the movie really begins and we see his life leading up to this moment and what transpires because of it.

I thought it was a really cool film overall. I'm always a fan for neat cinematic effects and obviously a film about life, death, and drugs would have some cool visuals. It was very nice although I was worried I might have my first seizure during an almost two minute long sequence of a flashing white light. Either way, it was a pretty cool adventure, although not something I would probably watch when just feeling bored.

For one, it's over two hours long which may be too much of a time investment. It's also not an easy movie, necessarily. It feels harsh at times and you have to be at least a little dedicated to the world to enjoy it. Honestly, I don't know what to say other than it was pretty neat but not for everyone. Like, for me I was not a fan of the whole ending sequence for 2001: A Space Odyssey the first time but only because I was watching it for an assignment. Had I been given free run to discover the film on my own and watch on a quiet evening it would have been much more enjoyable.

Blood Feast 2: All U Can Eat

Year: 2002
Director: Herschell Gordon Lewis
Writer: W. Boyd Ford
Genre: Horror: Comedy, Slasher

I still haven't seen the original Blood Feast (as far as I remember, anyway) but this one was on streaming so I decided to give it a look. After all was said and done I'm really glad that I did give it a look although hopefully the original will show up for me to watch soon too.

Blood Feast 2 is pretty awesome. The story starts us off with a man moving into a small town. He wants to start up his catering business there but then is shocked to find that his grandfather had done the same but then was found out to have murdered 3 women. Because small towns have long memories almost nobody is willing to visit the shop. Although the young man initially seems to know nothing about it, he quickly is swayed to the dark side just as his grandfather had been. Oh no.

I like the movie because it's pretty funny. In the first few minutes it seems stupid funny and I was worried the whole movie would be that way. Thankfully, it gets better as it goes on. The humor is still pretty dumb but enjoyably so. Then there's the gore effects which is where the movie shines. With all the slasher and gory films I've seen it is hard to surprise me with effects. In this film however things were just shown in such a way I was psyched and honestly a little grossed out. But this is a good thing! I think.

Cannibalism is something that's always been pretty gross in my mind. In case you can't tell by the title of the film, this movie has a lot of cannibalistic things going on. My reaction to the gore and all may have been due to this. Either way, the  movie is a pretty good comedy and probably better than it should be. What's strangest is that while the film was made in 2002 it feels like an 80s film. Blood Feast 2 is quite the fun movie. Just be sure not to watch it right after a big meal.