Thankskilling

Year: 2009
Director: Jordan Downey
Writer: Jordan Downey, Kevin Stewart
Genre: Horror: Comedy, Animal attack

I'd been avoiding watching Thankskilling for a while now. There was just something abot it that seemed like it was attempting to be too campy and I was worried. Either way, over Thanksgiving I decided to give it a spin since it fit the theme of the week. I'm glad  I did.

The movie is tremendously low budget with nobodies left and right. Still, it's never taken exorbitant amounts of money to make a good feature and this proves it. Well, it's not "good" in the typical sense but it's good for some silly, dumb laughs. The film pokes fun at horror tropes and is completely unbelievable. For example, there is a part when the teenagers are vigilantly seeking to stay far away from the vile turkey, but fail to notice that he is actually in their house, just wearing a mask.

The movie is supremely dumb but somehow it becomes endearing because of it. Everyone who was involved in this movie must have known exactly what they were making and so it exudes fun. The characters aren't all wonderfully likable but you're still interested in seeing what they get up to. They're a motley crew to be sure and not one really ready to go up against a demonic bird. I think it's their sheer incompetence at stopping the turkey that helps make it even more fun.

It probably isn't to everyone's tastes but if you're looking for a very simple, silly film this might satisfy you. Definitely watch it if you've got time on a future Thanksgiving.

Monkey Shines

Year: 1998
Director: George A. Romero
Writer: George A. Romero
Genre: Horror: Drama, animal attack

Monkey Shines is a weird movie. It all starts out one day with the camera following a man who seems to have it all. He has a gorgeous girlfriend and pictures around his home of him winning what looks like marathon races all around. This man is in prime physical shape and seems to be heading places. On his morning job though his fate is changed when he is hit by a car which paralyzes most of his body.

Because he becomes so reliant on others, his brother sees it fit to get him a helper monkey, sort of like a seeing eye dog. The monkey is issued commands and does whatever he can to aid his human companion. The little capuchin is cute and things all seem to be looking up. But then people start turning up dead.

Honestly, the movie sounds like a big joke when being described. Somehow though it all feels rather believable and it's still easy to get sucked right into the wild situation. It is a bit annoying though how the film ends. I don't know, maybe I just don't like happy endings.

If you've ever wanted a pet monkey maybe this movie will make you think otherwise. I've always wondered why this certain type of monkey was banned from ownership in certain states and it would be laughable to think it was in any way due to this movie. There are probably other reasons, but with all the other crazy things that someone can own - why not a little monkey?

If you're in the mood for strange monkey/human interactions I'd recommend Altered States. It's kind of strange how similar the movies are for one base feature of them, but nothing else. Altered States is definitely the much weirder of the two films though, and not recommended if you don't like trippy things like 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Birdemic: Shock and Terror

Year: 2008
Director: James Nguyen
Writer: James Nguyen
Genre: Horror: Animal attack

What the hell is this movie?

Birdemic: Shock and Terror is the tale of two people who meet, go on a date, go to a motel together, and then wake up to birds attacking. It's basically The Birds except without any level of class and effects that are so much worse. I can't even believe this is available on Netflix.

It basically looks like a really terrible student movie. Except, unlike most student movies, it's a full length film! The characters cannot act, the video quality is bad, the effects are horrendous, the music is goofy, and to top it all off the story could have been cobbled together by an elementary school student.

The birds make the same horrendous cawing sounds over and over and over. Their animation is basically one loop of wings flapping. The birds are very obviously CGI and beginner CGI at that. The script is painfully awkward and only the children characters deliver their lines with any ounce of authenticity. Everything about this movie is terrible.

Because it's so terrible it ends up being rather funny. It's still pretty annoying though with the constant horrible cawing sound effects and stupid characters. Still, if you need a movie to watch with a big group of friends (who enjoy bad movies) it is a nice choice.