A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell

Year: 1990
Director: Brett Piper
Writer: Brett Piper
Genre: Fantasy

If there's ever a movie people would gravitate toward due to the title this is it. A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell sets itself up to be quite a ride with a name like that. Unfortunately, beyond the first few minutes, almost nothing to do with "nympoids" or dinosaurs occurs.

The movie is hugely low budget and with a pretty dull story. Honestly, I can't even remember what really happened aside from the girl barbarian meeting the boy barbarian and then for some reason they try to destroy this evil guy. Yep, that's about as deep as it goes.

Troma certainly isn't a big budget studio but it seems like even LESS money was somehow spent on producing this. While many Troma films feature the famous car chase/flip/explosion scene, this film takes scenes from a handful of the Troma library for no good reason. Thankfully that's only the case for the introduction but I was worried the entire movie might be that way. If I'd let my fear get the best of me then I probably would have just stopped watching before 10 minutes were done.

As it stands this movie is pretty dull. The name is great but everything else is supremely lackluster. Skip it.

The Last Circus

Year: 2010
Director: Álex de la Iglesia
Writer: Álex de la Iglesia
Genre: Drama, Comedy

I came into this movie pretty cold. It was simply a suggestion and I only looked at the stars it scored before jumping in. The Last Circus is foreign film where a boy grows up quickly after his father is killed right before his eyes. He inherits the role of a clown just like his father before him and joins the circus. There he meets a girl and, predictably, starts to feel something for her.

From then on, things manage to take the worst turns possible and the movie ends up being one filled with bullets, bloodshed, and disfigurement. It's alright. I have a feeling this movie will or has already been on favorite film lists. It definitely has the stuff to be something special, but or me it was just filler.

I liked the story progression well enough but it just came out too dramatic for my tastes. What can you expect from a drama film but drama? It's an odd criticism coming from me too though since I loved the whacked out Fatal Attraction. That certainly never let up on the intense drama... Well, somehow The Last Circus didn't click with me.

Still, the movie is a neat little experience and will probably please some. Check it out if you're interested in some clown-related craziness.

Graduation Day

Year: 1981
Director: Herb Freed
Writer: Anne Marisse, Herb Freed
Genre: Slasher

The 80s were the decade of the slasher film. I've seen a great deal of them but there's always more out there to dig up. Since Graduation Day was up on streaming I decided to give it a look. While it doesn't realy stand out among the crowded genre, it's still an alright film. That's better than being a total and complete disaster, at least.

I've heard people complain about the acting a lot but it wasn't a big deal to me. Overall the characters seem to be relatively regular high schoolers (except that they look to be college aged a lot of the time). The story starts out where a young track star mysteriously dies after winning a race. It wasn't foul play as far as anyone can tell anyway, just a high school athlete being pushed too hard. I think that's a pretty pertinent tale even today where many students are pushing themselves much further than they can handle.

Anyway, quickly the film sets us up with suspects. If there's one thing that this movie deserves a compliment for it's how it manages to give us a list of suspects who all could be the killer. A smart horror fan could probably deduce the true murderer before too long, but even I was happy to let the movie guide my perception of who the killer was all the way through. The reveal makes sense too although it isn't the most exciting one.

The movie was okay. I wasn't crazy about it but it at least held my interest for the near hour and fourty minutes it drew on. If there was one thing I'd change it would be to cut down on some of the movie. Graduation Day is an acceptable film but not something to watch if you want to get your blood pumping.

Class of Nuke 'Em High

Year: 1986
Director: Richard W. Haines
Writer: Richard W. Haines, Mark Rudnitsky
Genre: Sci-Fi, Comedy

Is it sacrilegious of me to not like this movie? I feel like it's supposed to be a classic Troma centerpiece, but I just couldn't get into it very much at all. Perhaps it had to do with the fact that I was tired. Or maybe it's just due to the fact that it's not very good.

Class of Nuke 'Em High starts us off in a small town which is right by a nuclear facility. Of course, something goes wrong there but they mostly don't seem to care about it. Water tainted with nuclear goo seeps into the local school and from there things get a little disgusting.

For a Troma film it's not all that gross. You've got weirdo teens screwing around with other oddballs but nobody is really that interesting or entertaining. The characters are all such caricatures but not in a way that I found appealing. There was a lot going on but I never cared for anyone so obviously didn't care when they came up on screen. But, when you don't like anyone in a movie then that means every seen is dull.

I still intend to watch the rest of the films in this series but I hope they pick up. This one seems a little close to The Toxic Avenger but without any real heart.

Return of the Killer Tomatoes!

Year: 1988
Director: John De Bello
Writer: Stephen F. Andrich, John De Bello
Genre: Horror: Comedy

I haven't seen the original Attack of the Killer Tomatoes in a long time. I remember it not impressing me much even though I was a middle schooler or so when I saw it. I knew the premise was utterly ridiculous but the film itself seemed only to drag on and on and be really stupid. Who knows if I'd feel the same way upon rewatching it, but that initially viewing has skewed me away from any more tomato-based cinema.

I don't know what it was that made me decide to check out the sequel. I guess I wanted to know how things worked out or if it was any better. As it turns out, I had a fair bit of fun with this movie although it is tremendously stupid. It's probably due to the huge amounts of stupid slopped on that it becomes such a fun film.

Although it starts off only being semi-wacky it continues to get crazier and crazier until the end where there is nothing left to do but laugh. It definitely pokes fun at films in general and I liked that. It certainly seemed more fresh then than it would if people were making fun of things like product placement today. Anyway, it's super dumb and that's the reason to watch it.

I like that the movie also makes fun of the 80s cinema landscape and promotion around films. Like, the main tomato of this movie is no longer a real one but a medium-sized fluffy plush guy. He's cute and the perfect way to attempt to sell merchandise from the film. Of course, I don't think there were ever any real FT plush guys produced, but I like that they poke fun at how horrible movies are with trying to string along new merchandise alongside them.

Return of the Killer Tomatoes! would probably make for a nice watch with friends. Just make sure you're not expecting anything serious when you press play.

Return to Sleepaway Camp

Year: 2008
Director: Robert Hiltzik
Writer: Robert Hiltzik
Genre: Horror: Slasher

I think I liked this movie a lot more than I should have. For it to be a sequel some 20 years after the originals in the series came out... well, that usually spells doom. Somehow Return to Sleepaway Camp manages to be completely captivating.

The characters are once again young teens as opposed to the late teenaged cast of the 2nd and 3rd films. I'm glad this change was made because I couldn't for the life of me understand why 17-19 year olds would be going off to a summer camp. Does anyone of that age really do so unless they're a counselor? Oh well.

For the content of the movie I really like that it mostly seems to be a new start to the brand. It can basically be watched as someone's first jump into the Sleepaway Camp world but it works much better if you're a fan of the series, as the films do actually correlate. The campgoers themselves are all new though and they mostly all give realistic performances of stupid, mean teens.

I hate to harp on it but it still bothers me that the film finds a place to continue to rake Angela's character through the mud though by bringing up the whole "he" thing. Why is that still touted as a massively important fact of her existence? Apparently between the first and second film she has a "life-saving operation" which renders her physically female. While I see a problem with using that as the barometer of defining who is what as is, it seems like that really should settle the case for all the characters. But of course not. Angela may at this point in time have been living as a woman with a basically female body for 20 some years but they must still force the idea that she's "really a man".

For all the fussing I do over Angela I still really find myself enjoying the movies. Since the characters are relatively normal portrayals of kids, I found myself more interested in what was going on in their snotty little world. I never really empathized with any of the characters, but that's fine. It's just too bad Angela wasn't prominently in most of the film because she's always my favorite.

Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland

Year: 1989
Director: Michael A. Simpson
Writer: Fritz Gordon, Robert Hiltzik
Genre: Horror: Slasher, Comedy

Somehow I managed to make it to the 3rd Sleepaway Camp film. Although the first never really struck a chord with me, the 2nd was pretty fun and so of course I had to keep on going. This film seems to finish off the original trilogy, even though later there was a "fifth" film that came out in the 2000s. Yeah, fifth after third. Apparently there was a 4th film in production but it got scrapped before getting anywhere important. Because of that, Return to Sleepaway camp has the alternate title of Sleepaway Camp V even though 4 is nebulous and incomplete. Apparently you could have nabbed it as a special gift from Best Buy some years ago but now your best bet is eBay. Doesn't seem too worth it though.

Anyway, in regards to Sleepaway Camp III it's an alright film. I certainly didn't enjoy it as much as the 2nd but it was alright. Angela is still a pretty cool girl although she seems to have jumped further into the deep end now (yes, even more than she had in the previous rendition). Murders seem less and less important and just there to fill the quota for dead bodies.

Still, I liked the movie. I like Angela even if I don't fully understand her motives and am happy to watch annoying teens get knocked off one by one. There's probably a lot of other slasher films you could spend your time with though. I wouldn't really suggest checking this one out unless you've already gone to the trouble of seeing other films in the series.