Satan Place: A Soap Opera From Hell

Year: 1990
Director: Alfred Ramirez, Scott Aschbrenner
Writer:
Genre: Horror: Comedy

It's rare that I watch a movie that I absolutely cannot find through IMDB. I was able to grab some information of it from ZMBD, but what a rarity! From what little I've found, it appears that the movie is based off a comic book of the same name. I guess that makes sense since it plays out as a compilation of short films.

The first few films didn't really interest me but after that there were some really great ones. A short about a girl who is obsessed with watching TV was my favorite. I'd recommend watching it but it's probably a little hard to find. However, it is one of those super cheap movies that would probably appear on Netflix streaming if they were able to grab onto a copy. There's so much on the service that's so cheap, but still a gem.

Like I said though, it's a supremely cheap film overall. The video quality makes it seem much older than it actually is, and the acting sometimes leaves much to be desired. If you can look past those things though it's quite an odd little treat. Check it out if you like Creepshow, but then, who doesn't like Creepshow?

I took a few screenshots from this film for some reason. You can check them out if you want.

Slumber Party Massacre III

Year: 1990
Director: Sally Mattison
Writer: Catherine Cyran
Genre: Horror: Comedy, Slasher

More girls! More blood! More silly murder man! Of course this is what one should expect and it's exactly what they get in the conclusion of the Slumber Party Massacre series. I have a feeling that this one is a bit better than the last, although it's hard to quantify, since they are all pretty similar films. Although it was made in 1990 though it still feels about the same age as the rest.

I honestly can't remember that much different between the second and third films so I'm not even going to try. I just want everyone to enjoy how wonderfully 80s the film is. At one point, the girls all bust out their goofily choreographed dance routine. Is this really what girls do at slumber parties? I think so.

Carrie (Remake)

Year: 2002
Director: David Carson
Writer: Bryan Fuller
Genre: Horror

Carrie is a pretty damn famous piece of work. The novel and first film rendition are modern classics, so it always seems weird to see remakes for them. Still, in the world of remakes I would say this is a pretty decent one. It also happens to be a made-for-TV remake which makes it all the more surprising as to how decent it is. Of course, IT was also a TV special so apparently that path doesn't always spell doom.

The film is very much like the older version with some modern flair. The characters are more 2000s teen, which may be a good or bad thing. Still, the basics remain the same. Carrie is still ostracized, living with a fanatically religious mother, and discovering her psychic powers. At times it seems exactly like the original film, although it strays from that path by bringing more of the novel into the movie. This may please some.

As it is a TV movie the effects are very laughable at times. Still, you've got to give them credit for trying to remain authentic to the source material. Presumably the TV audience wouldn't really care one way or the other. Angela Bettis plays Carrie - and she seems to have a knack for these kinds of roles. I remember thinking she did pretty well in the film May. Apparently she was also in Girl, Interrupted and Toolbox Murders but somehow I don't remember. You think I would since she has such distinctive facial features.

Anyway, the film definitely works. Some choices are a bit laughable, but beyond that I liked it a lot. It fares better than the Psycho remake at least where there's absolutely nothing new thrown into the mix. This version of Carrie has a distinctive spirit so I commend it for trying.

Valentine

Year: 2001
Director: Jamie Blanks
Writer: Donna Powers
Genre: Horror: Thriller

Usually when I go into more modern horror films I don't expect much. This movie doesn't intend to blow your socks off but what it does it does very well. You'v got a cast of very likable (and attractive) adults all going about their lives. Valentine's Day is coming around so the group is certainly rather focused on finding or maintaining love. Unfortunately, some weird things are going on where their friends are slowly dying off.... receiving weird Valentine's cards, and that sort of thing. Seems like this year things are going to be pretty different.

The movie is a little silly but mostly I really liked the characters and the progression of the story from mildly creepy things to "Look behind you! Watch out!". Maybe that's just me though. The characters mostly are agreeable although their Hollywood glamour makes you sometimes focus on how fake the film is.

Valentine is good at getting you to follow the wrong trail. I always tend to enjoy movies that will confuse you as to who the killer is. Sure, most every film tries to keep that a secret but often it's hard to actually maintain that secrecy. Or, movies will just throw something completely out of left field because that's the best they could do. I like being deceived when it makes sense though, and it made sense here.

Totally check it out since, well, it's Valentine's Day!

Slumber Party Massacre II

Year: 1987
Director: Deborah Brock
Writer: Deborah Brock
Genre: Horror: Slasher, Comedy

The Slumber Party Massacre was pretty campy. Between the title and the plot, while it was played it straight, was still eyebrow-raising at points. I don't know if that makes sense, but I hope it does. So, what do you do after you've made a semi-serious, semi-funny film? You just go fully in one direction. In the case of this sequel they went all out with their attempt at comedy.

Perhaps this is the movie people would imagine when hearing the title "Slumber Party Massacre". It must be something dumb and goofball and show lots of girls in their underwear or having pillow fights or something. The most notable thing about this film is the killer. He's some sort of retro rock idol with a satanic guitar. Of course his guitar has a drill on the end (why not?) which he uses for his murders.

In a way this film strangely presents a sort of fight for feminism. The rocker is from the old days and doesn't want women encroaching on his manly musical domain. At least, that's what I got from it. It helps that the main group of girls are in a "girl power" sort of rock band, too.

The movie is pretty silly. It's still a decent watch with likable characters, but a little out there too. I think this is my least favorite of the trilogy. It just seems too far gone to be taken as worthwhile viewing. Maybe I'm looking at it too harshly though. Again, it's a movie about girls having a slumber party so you can't expect something completely highbrow.

PS: Slumber Party Massacre II has one of the most fun title screens I've seen in a while:

976-EVIL

Year: 1988
Director: Robert Englund
Writer: Brian Helgeland, Rhet Topham
Genre: Horror

Wow. This movie. I actually never knew Robert Englund (Freddy Krueger) directed any movies. Now I think I see why. It's not that 976-EVIL is a bad movie but it leaves the impression on you that it is. There's just so much silliness to it that it's hard to take seriously as a film overall.

The story is basically this: There's this number you can call and it is supposed to tell you your HORRORscope. Haha, get it? Anyway, the phone line is actually much sinister as it promises people great powers. However, upon accepting such powers they must eventually either fall prey to it or revolt and get killed in the process.

The lead actor, Stephen Geoffreys, is most famous for his role as Evil Ed in Fright Night. I liked him more in Fright Night. He certainly gets a chance to go all-out in this film though, that's for sure. So there seems to be a good mix of skill put into this film but it's only average - although it's a "weird" average movie. There are however some pretty neat effects on display, as well as creative murders. You might get much more out of it than I did though, so maybe give it a chance if you haven't already.

Lady in White

Year: 1988
Director: Frank LaLoggia
Writer: Frank LaLoggia
Genre: Horror: Mystery

I came into Lady in White with little to no expectations and was pretty blown away. This means that I definitely recommend it. Either way, let's talk a little about what makes the film tick. It starts us off with a young boy in school who is hassled by a handful of bullies, as well as his brother. His life seems ultimately regular though. That is until the bullies lock him up in a school storeroom late at night where he is witness to a creepy fellow sifting around in there.

Then, the story branches out into separate but overlapping tales. There is the regular life of the boy that is changed due to that event. Then there is the repercussions of that event that get someone else wrapped up in a great deal of trouble. Then there is a ghost story happening too. Despite these very different tales all happening at the same time it never gets confusing and they are woven into one narrative quite skillfully.

The ghost story feels almost kiddish in many ways, but maybe that's due to the fact that children are the ones exploring it. If you get beyond that though it's obvious this isn't the kind of film you want to tuck your kids away with at night. It features a whole lot of more serious commentary. There is the cruelness of racism as well as some other seedy parts of humanity on display.

Overally Lady in White is a cinematic treat. I would recommend it to any moviegoer, not just horror fans. As it stands, the horror content is pretty soft anyway so that's not the focus. The focus is more mysterious and dramatic.